This Is What Happiness Is NOT | Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani


Like an elusive butterfly, happiness ceaselessly escapes our seize. However may that be as a result of we don’t in truth know what it’s? [Article inspired by the philosophies of the co-founder of Mindvalley and happiness researcher Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani – Mindvalley Summit 2021 ‘Hacking Happiness’.]

You’ll be able to’t deny it. You search it up to the following individual. Like hungry animals, we roam the Earth on the lookout for it. For hours, for days, for many years, we dream of it. And we accomplish that within the wisdom that if we fail to search out it, our lives won’t ever in reality be price dwelling.

Search And You Shan’t To find Happiness? 

Kristina Mänd on stage at Mindvalley Live 2020 in Los Angeles, USA.
Kristina at Mindvalley LIVE, LA, 2020

Humanity has one want in not unusual: to feel free.

Each mother or father needs it for his or her darling youngsters and each and every lover needs it for his or her spouse. At the back of each and every aspiration and objective lies the real yearning for happiness. However regardless of how a lot we wish it for ourselves, want it for others, and steadily search for it, it’s ceaselessly simply out of achieve.

The philosophers of previous claimed that we fail to notice happiness as a result of we seek for it. However happiness researcher Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani would disagree.

What if the explanation we fail to notice happiness wasn’t that we have been on the lookout for it, however as a result of maximum folks don’t in truth know what happiness is?

Snatch a notepad. We’re about to discover what it isn’t, so you’ll be able to get a hold of your individual definition of what happiness is for you.

#1: Happiness Is NOT An Emotion

Kristina Mänd at A-Fest 2019 in Portugal.
Kristina at A-Fest Portugal, 2019

For those who purchased into the concept that happiness was once an emotion, you’re in for an excessively tough journey. 

By way of their nature, feelings are ever-changing. Like waves of the sea or cloud formations within the sky, feelings are brief phenomena. Subsequently, it is going with out announcing that you’ll be able to’t reside a contented existence when you equate being glad to the emotion of pleasure or elation, as a result of your happiness will inevitably vary relying to your instances. 

Fairly, Kristina recommends seeing happiness as a way of thinking or a way of life. This brings us onto the following ‘NOT’…

#2: Happiness Is NOT Perfection

Kristina Mänd at Mindvalley Live 2019 in Istanbul, Turkey.
Kristina at Mindvalley LIVE Istanbul, 2019

So when you’re a recuperating perfectionist like Kristina, we’ve were given some information for you. 

For those who’ve been looking forward to the whole thing to be easiest ahead of you permit your self to feel free, you’re environment your self up for failure.

In step with world-renowned philosopher-turned-business guru Srikumar Rao, you’re now not glad as a result of the whole thing is easiest, the whole thing is easiest as a result of you might be glad. 

For those who’re a human dwelling within the twenty first century, you’ll have perhaps already been taught that existence won’t all the time come up with what you need. The trail can get rocky. However true happiness nonetheless survives even supposing you’ve been despatched on a detour. Ask your self, whilst on that inevitable detour, are you able to nonetheless benefit from the surroundings?

#3: Happiness Is NOT The Absence Of Hardship

Kristina Mänd on stage at Mindvalley Live 2019 in Istanbul, Turkey.
Kristina on level at Mindvalley LIVE Istanbul, 2019

As we came upon partially #2, happiness does now not equate to our subjective concepts about exterior perfection. However taking {that a} step additional, Kristina claims that nor is it the absence of hardship. 

Even supposing we’ll face up to this concept to the sour finish.

While you have been a kid, odds are the adults round you tried to refuge you from the hardships of the arena. For those who’re a mother or father, possibly you’re making an effort to dodge the topic of dying or ache round your little ones, and on the very least you try to make their lives as delightful as conceivable.

However this habits, even though born from just right intentions, will satirically deliver us extra disappointment in the end. Why? As a result of a key non-public trait we want to feel free is resilience. And while you create a man-made setting with out ache or battle, you’ll undergo existence with out the essential abilities to live to tell the tale and thrive when one thing actually difficult comes alongside.

Dealing with the ugliest human studies with openness, figuring out, and acceptance is probably not on your detriment. It’ll be your coaching floor for a cheerful state of being it doesn’t matter what existence throws at you. 

#4: Happiness Is NOT A Symptom Of Doing The Proper Factor

Kristina Mänd grinning with happiness at Mindvalley Live 2019 in Istanbul, Turkey.
Kristina at Mindvalley LIVE Istanbul, 2019

“Doing the fitting factor isn’t going to make you glad,” says Kristina. “If that have been true, we wouldn’t have the arena’s maximum a hit folks burnt out, questioning how the hell they ended up the place they’re…unsatisfied.”

Kristina has the first-hand revel in of doing the entire proper issues that land you within the flawed position. She was once a just right woman who adopted the entire laws, getting immediately A’s in class and college, marrying Mr. Proper, having a few angelic youngsters, and founding her dream enterprise. 

However she ended up being beautiful depressing.

Kristina realized in no time that your stage of good fortune doesn’t correlate together with your stage of happiness. And the information presentations it. Actually, the analysis presentations that the correlation in truth is going within the different course; it’s happiness that’ll dictate your stage of good fortune.

So happiness isn’t a nice symptom of good fortune or doing the fitting factor. It’s a prerequisite.

#5 Happiness Is NOT A Given

Kristina Mänd on stage at Mindvalley Live 2019 in Istanbul, Turkey.
Kristina on level at Mindvalley LIVE Istanbul, 2019

So now we’ve established that happiness is if truth be told NOT an emotion, nor does it come alongside when the prerequisites are easiest, it’s protected to mention that it’s now not a given.

In different phrases, happiness isn’t assured. Don’t be tricked into pondering that you just’re intended to be naturally glad, and when you aren’t, deem your self as lesser-than.

Identical to an implausible dating must be nurtured, and a dream enterprise must be constructed from the bottom up, happiness is one thing that calls for effort and dedication. 

It doesn’t matter what brings you into a contented state of being, whether or not it’s certain affirmations, spending time with family members, meditating, working towards self-care, touring the arena, or expressing gratitude for what you have already got, you’re within the motive force’s seat to apply and facilitate it.

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